I have a
deep, dark secret to tell. I am not a 'cool' person. This has never been a real
problem for me, even in high school when it apparently bothers most people. I
moved around too much to really care about cultivating a 'cool' image… a 'real'
image was far more convenient and beneficial for me. Recently, though, I find
myself surrounded on all sides by people who are, in my estimation, very cool.
They seem to think I'm one of them. It scares me spitless. I have this little
voice in the back of my head that says, "Don't get too close, Z.
Don't get too comfortable. One day they're all going to realize what a dork you
really are."
I promise
that I'm not trying to be someone else in front of these people. I think that
is actually the crux of the problem. I'm being myself, wholly and completely,
and they still keep calling! They find my 'real' self to be a little bit
'cool'. The scary part is finding out that maybe, just maybe, I'm not the
complete dork I thought I was. No, wait. That's not true. I KNOW I'm a dork.
Maybe my dorkiness just isn't as bad as I've always thought. After all, God
made me this way, didn't he?
I guess
what I'm trying to say is this: I'm good enough for God to like me so why
shouldn't I be good enough for 'cool' people to like me, too? 'Dorkiness' and
all.
-Zonoma
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
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